true life: my parents love empty-nesting so much that my mom wasn't even offended when i told her i'd rather live on the streets than move home after graduation.

Sep 23

ellen: well i went to the job fair today because i really want to get a job on campus this year, so we'll see if that happens.
mom: i don't see why you think you need a job. your job is to get good grades.
ellen: well i already do that job, so i need a job because i'm poor and i need money.
mom: i don't think you're poor.
ellen: yes i am. and when i don't get into law school or get a job and i'm living on the streets next year-
mom: (cuts me off) you won't be living on the streets next year.
ellen: yes i will.
mom: no you won't. you'll be living at [our address]-
ellen: (cuts her off) DON'T EVEN SAY IT.
mom: you're not going to live on the streets.
ellen: nope, home's not an option. i'd rather live on the streets. and when i am living on the streets, the X-number-of-dollars in my bank account won't last me very long so i need to make some more.
mom: (laughs) well i guess so.