January 2012
9 posts
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Lucifer, V8, Anal, Christ: these are among the baby names rejected by New...
– Few decisions are more personal than the naming of offspring. Yet laws regulating parents’ choices are common around the world. (via theeconomist)
the economist understands me and my OBSESSION with the weird things that parents name their children.
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text convo between siblings, part a million.
michael: "$11 million? sounds like a whole lotta vaginal activity to me." guess who said that.
ellen: was it dad discussing blue ivy carter's birth?
michael: nope. TYRESE in 'fast five'.
ellen: i'm crying.
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December 2011
16 posts
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my favorite christmas story. →
this is my favorite christmas story, courtesy of esquire. it’s an essay by david sedaris called “six to eight black men” and it’s about how they celebrate christmas in the netherlands. merry christmas, everyone!
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i finally saw tiny furniture the other night (thanks, sundance channel!) and all i can say is that every 20-25 year old lady on the planet needs to see this movie as soon as humanly possible. i literally feel like lena dunham lifted conversations i’ve actually had with my family and friends for her screenplay; it’s probably the most realistic piece of popular culture about women in my...
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i came down here expressly to tell you that betty draper is a huge bitch.
– my brother, leaving his bed before noon on a sunday to comment on the mad men season four finale.
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this is just like 2 minutes and 54 seconds of pure perfection to me.
also when this happened live last night i might have screamed a little and woken my dog up.
normal.
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ugh, that’s going to be like the ultimate jewish christmas movie of all...
– my brother michael, upon hearing that my mom selected warhorse as our annual christmas movie.
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if you are nerdy and like comedy shows and the... →
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oh my god, he’s such a joke. whenever i see him around campus he’s...
– my friend abby, who goes to northwestern university, on resident campus celebrity chet haze.
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November 2011
1 post
October 2011
11 posts
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real life JUMANJI in zanesville, ohio. no joke. →
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YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!
mom: so have you been watching this show 'pan am'?
me: no, i heard it's like a 'mad men' knock-off.
mom: well it does certainly seem like a cheaper version, but christina ricci is good.
me: mom. 'mad men' is coming back in march. it'll be like our birthday present!
mom: well all i can say is that it better be damn good. after making me wait for this goddamn long every single episode better be over. the. top.
me: [laughing] well jon hamm directed the first episode back!
mom: what does that tell me? that doesn't tell me anything. i don't know if he's good behind the camera.
me: [laughing hysterically now] i'm sure it'll be good.
mom: well, you heard it here first. 'mad men' better be amazing this year after making me wait this long.
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all summer i couldn’t figure out why “countdown” wasn’t the first single off of ‘4’. it’s clearly the best song on the album and the best song beyonce has ever made. but now i understand. she was waiting until she announced her pregnancy so she could make this music video and look pregnant and FIERCE in it.
YOU GO, BEYONCE.
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September 2011
9 posts
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true life: my parents love empty-nesting so much...
ellen: well i went to the job fair today because i really want to get a job on campus this year, so we'll see if that happens.
mom: i don't see why you think you need a job. your job is to get good grades.
ellen: well i already do that job, so i need a job because i'm poor and i need money.
mom: i don't think you're poor.
ellen: yes i am. and when i don't get into law school or get a job and i'm living on the streets next year-
mom: (cuts me off) you won't be living on the streets next year.
ellen: yes i will.
mom: no you won't. you'll be living at [our address]-
ellen: (cuts her off) DON'T EVEN SAY IT.
mom: you're not going to live on the streets.
ellen: nope, home's not an option. i'd rather live on the streets. and when i am living on the streets, the X-number-of-dollars in my bank account won't last me very long so i need to make some more.
mom: (laughs) well i guess so.
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an important 'parks and recreation'-related...
ellen: what is jean ralphio's nationality?
tracy: pimp.
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August 2011
17 posts
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Newsweek: Social Media Intern Wanted! →
newsweek:
Hey guys! Want to join the team behind nwk tumblr? We’re hiring a social media intern and would love to recruit from our follower pool. Here’s the full listing. We promise this will be a fun, and educational, internship. (And it’s a paid position, based out of our offices in sunny New York…
i applied! please keep an eye out for my application, newsweek!
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